According to our speculative and anonymous sources, Justin has had his hand me down Pierre Cardin pants re-sized in the inseam. He did not need the extra room although for years he insisted he could grow as a politician in Canada. The roomier crotch region belonged to his late and great father and like any good Canadian boy, he always left room for improvement and kept his spirits high. Unfortunately his rear still sags like a toddlers loaded diaper but many of us still hold out for the eventual expansion of support to his base.
We have also heard rumors of Justin having the pockets lined in beaver pelt, a truly Canadian addition. After all which MP doesn’t want fine Canadian beaver hip-side at all times?
According to an unnamed shoe salesperson at footlocker, Justin keeps buying size 12 basketball shoes. When the sales clerk insisted that his foot only measured 10 inches he replied by saying he was used to wearing bigger shoes than prescribed. Nobody knows for sure why but the story does seem to make sense at a glance.
In any case we’d like to wish the MP all the best!